Outdo one another in showing honor.

God is gracious to show us areas of immaturity in our lives. When we are still and willing to look at the ugly in us that He is trying to bring to our attention, it is...ugly.

He's showing me some of my ugly right now. I hate what I see, but am thankful for it not remaining hidden. The first step is admitting you have a problem. Right?

It comes down to this: I need to humble myself so that I can honor others above myself.

Take myself off of the stage.
Put others on it.

The other night I read Romans 12:10 in my new Bible. It says, "...Outdo one another in showing honor." I immediately thought of an old friend who was wonderful at making much of others. She had sincere interest and kindness toward other people. I've never felt more welcome at someone's house than I did at hers. I know others who feel the same way about being around her. She has hospitality down. Not hospitality in the sense of serving fancy cakes and tea, but in the sense that when you sit on her couch, she focuses on you and others in your life. She encourages. She builds up. She's a Mary, not a Martha.

I think the interpretation of Romans 12:10 from The Message puts it well:

"...Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle."

I found this blog on this subject and wanted to share.
http://blog.faithchurchpa.org/?p=371

Praying for humility,
Heather

For my mom

Dear Mom,

I know you can’t read this now, nor are you “watching down” on us. However, I’m going to address this to you since these are the things I wish I had known I needed to say 16 years ago.

Thank you for life. Thank you for wanting me and not giving up when the doctors told you it would be impossible for you to have a baby.

Thank you for adoring me.  Thank you for writing about the sweet, intimate, and funny moments we shared when I was a baby. Had you not taken the time to notice these things and document them, they would be lost.

Thank you for letting me know that at 9 months I was both sweet and bratty. Sweet by pointing at new things and softly asking, “What’s that?” Bratty by biting you and my dad when I was mad, and saying “shit” when I didn’t get my way. Thanks for letting me know that when I turned one, I would walk with my hands in the air and look like I was “preaching,” and that when a car would drive by, I would say, “bye bye.”

Thank you for being cool and letting me name my dogs things like Grass and Chocolate Cake. Thank you for letting me keep a wild rabbit in the house (until he escaped).

Thank you for loving me unconditionally—even when I had a temper and said things like, “don’t look-y or touchy me,” or “I’m going to run away, but only to the yard, then I’ll be right back.”

Thank you for giving me a sister. I’m so blessed to have such a sweet sister. More than anything, I wish she had had more of you. I know you weren’t planning on leaving this world (in my baby book you wrote about how one day we would compare things once I had kids), but I’m glad that if you had to leave, you left me with a sister. Without you, we need each other.

Thank you of being proud of me, and for bragging about what a good student I was, or how beautiful, funny, and sweet I was.

As I got older, thank you for letting me play with shaving cream on the kitchen table like we did at school. And for letting me play “cooking show” by dicing carrots into tiny cubes. Thank you for always having snacks within my reach so that I could have a snack after school. Thank you for decorating for Halloween and Christmas in a way that made the holiday magical. I still remember coming home from school amazed that you had transformed the house into a Halloween house.

Thank you for letting me “help” balance the checkbook by organizing all of the returned checks by image. (This makes me laugh today, because I was working so hard at helping!) I remember looking forward to the next time we got returned checks in the mail.

Thank you for being strong through your divorce and not writing negative things about my dad in my baby book. I wish I could somehow go back and remove the pain and loneliness you felt at that time.

Thank you for always being on my side, even when I was wrong. I always felt secure with you. With you, I could be brave.

Thank you for volunteering to take my 4^th grade class to the zoo, and for buying me a journal with a lion on it so I could make notes about what I learned. Thank you for being the cool mom with gum and sharing it with the other kids in our group. I was so proud to have you there.

Thank you for dancing with me to Red Red Wine and Al Green. I’ll never hear Red Red Wine without thinking of us dancing with my toy monkey in the living room of the little trailer, and me choking the monkey when the song said, “monkey get choke.”

Thank you for letting me climb behind you in your big brown chair so that I could play with your hair. Even now, I can still imagine squeezing behind you as you tried to watch TV, talk on the phone, or work on crafts.

Thank you for letting me massage your feet. I remember looking up at you as I squeezed your toes with lotion.  I didn’t realize it then, but looking back, that was my way of letting you know that I ADORED you.

Thank you for teaching me to clean and for making it fun. Thank you for teaching me to make my bed, even though for most of your life I failed to do it well. I’ve finally got it down.

Thank you for letting my imagination grow by letting me play Office or Teacher for hours. I remember looking forward to coming home so I could play Teacher on the chalk board(s) you bought me. Thank you for repeatedly buying me silly puddy. Thank you for not being mad when I put stickers on the wall.

Thank you for sacrificing for me. Time. Money. Emotion. Thank you for being compassionate toward me, even on your last day here.

I’m so sorry for how your time here ended. I wish I had been there to help you. I wish I could have helped. I’m sorry for not acknowledging you all of these years since you’ve left. I’m sorry for trying to forget you. I’m remembering you now. And as I remember, I’m proud to call YOU my MOM.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve created a picture in my mind of what a good mom is: a mom who makes things pretty, a mom who plans creative and cute birthday parties, a mom who encourages learning. But now, when I think back on what it was like to have you as a mom, and as I recall the good feelings, I realize they had nothing to do with pretty things. The good feelings come from the times we connected—in your brown chair, sleepovers on your water bed, me sitting next to the tub talking to you as you took a bath, evenings at the kitchen table balancing the checkbook, eating dinner, or working on crafts. I’m going to keep remembering you and the kind of mom you were. And as I do this, I hope to love my sister and future children the way you loved me.

Thank you. I love you. I’m proud to have had you. I miss you.

With lots of love toward my mommy,

Finny Lynn

New iPhone

I'm loving my new phone. I'm guessing I'll post here more now that it'll be easy to share as thoughts come to me (except for when I'm in the shower.)

For now, enjoy Zoey!

Behold, He is doing a new thing!

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. –God (Isaiah 43:19)

Rewind to October of last year. I had signed up to participate in the MS 5k—as a walker. I remember seeing others running, and feeling inadequate/insecure (I’m not really sure what word I’m looking for; I just know that I felt like the runners were better than me and were doing something I’d never be able to do. I’d always be the walker watching the runner wishing I could be like them.) Add to that, I was in a dead-end relationship hoping with all my strength that if I worked hard enough and prayed long enough, it could be saved. So there I am in the heart of Houston with my long-term boyfriend and my new dog at an exciting event to raise money for MS research. It should have been a joyful day. But if I were to show you the pictures from that day, you wouldn’t pick up on feelings of love and joy. You would see smiles and eyes that were trying and tired of trying--especially if you saw the pictures of my ex.

MS Walk 2010

Now fast-forward to this October. I ran my first 5k on Saturday morning. What a difference a year makes. Instead of walking this 5k, I RAN it! It was full of hope and prayers for those dealing with breast cancer and it was run with a new friend that God strategically put into my life. Where last year’s 5k was walked with a burdensome hope for myself, this year’s was ran with a joyful hope for others.

After running my first 5k in Oct 2011 (it was a little windy!)

At the beginning of 2011, God told me to move to Houston. I was feeling the lead, but kept putting it off.  (I was scared.) Then the pastor of my old church preached on going when God tells you to go. He shared how in Joshua 1, God told Joshua to pick up where Moses left off, and to GO lead the people across the Jordan River into the promised land. In the first chapter of Joshua, God told Joshua THREE times to be strong and courageous—and go! This sermon solidified what God had been telling me.

So here I am in the city that God called me to. There’s been pain—deep pain. But God is revealing himself and his word to me more and more. He has changed my hopes. But mostly he is making it all easier. Work still requires more energy than I sometimes think I have. People still test my nerves and break my heart. Dust still falls on the dresser that I dusted a few days ago. But somehow, it’s easier. 

This past week I started reading my new pastor’s book “Finding God’s Will.” In chapter 2, he gives the illustration of a 6 mile Fun Run in which the pace car made a wrong turn, resulting in a 9 mile run for about 300 hundred runners. He says, “We can do the same thing following our own plan and running in our own strength. Trust me. You don’t want the responsibility of keeping life ignited by your own efforts. You will waste your strength running the wrong course. A listening ear beats swift feet every time.” The point of the chapter is that “God’s power always accompanies God’s will.” So when I say it’s easier, what I’m referring to is God’s power that is accompanying his will in my life.

Jesus said for all of us who are weary and burdened to come to Him, and He would give us rest. In the same passage (Matthew 11), He said, “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” This has been highlighted in my Bible for years, but it wasn’t until the other day that I realized what Jesus was talking about when he said yoke. Ever heard of a yoke of oxen? A yoke of oxen is two ox that have been yoked together—or connected by a piece of wood that fits over their necks. I’m not a farmer, but I imagine that the yoke keeps the oxen going in the same direction while plowing. So I think what Jesus was saying is that being attached to him and going His direction is easy. [In saying this I worry that you may think that there are no difficulties or trials for Christians. That is not the case—actually the Bible tells us that we’ll have trials in this world and that the world will hate us! I feel like I've had more trials than most non-Christians. Believe me, I've cried lots of tears and felt tremendous heartache. But somehow, it’s all easier! I don’t know how to explain it. And you won’t understand unless you’ve experienced it. But for those who have experienced God’s strength and help, you’re likely nodding your head as you read this.]

All of that to say, praise God for bringing me through these trials. For in them, He is reminding me that He loves me more than I love myself, and that He is good. He is my Counselor, Shield, Protector, and Father. My prayer these days is, “Lord, I’m where you told me to go. Now what do you want me to do? Who do you want me to serve? Whom do you want me to help and love?”  Like Moses when he saw the burning bush (a sign from God), and like Ruth when she met Boaz (her future husband), I’m going to go about the work and things that God has already told me to do, and trust that he’ll show me my next steps.

Unbelievable

What I am about to share would be unbelievable to me, if I hadn't seen it this morning. Some people would say it means something. I even thought this may be the case this morning. But then a Godly man at work reminded me that God speaks to us through his word and every 'message' should be tested against the Word. So here it goes; the story of my commute to work this morning.


This morning when I was driving to work, the traffic reminded me of something that had really bothered and upset me. I started replaying it in my mind. As I did, I felt anger welling up inside. I finally told myself, "Heather, you don't need to think about this. It will accomplish no good."

I then focused my attention to listening to the Message (Christian radio station) on XM and the song "God Gave Me You" came on. For those of you who haven't heard it, its a song by Dave Barnes to his wife. In the song, he shares that God gave him his wife for the good times and bad. Being single, I don't connect with the song and prefer not to listen to it. So I changed the station to The Highway (country). THE SAME SONG WAS ON THAT STATION, but by a different artist!
So I went back to the one on The Message (since I'd prefer the acoustic Dave Barnes version if I have to listen to it).

So here I am, in the fast lane on 59 during the morning rush hour when I see something white flapping to the right of my car. At first I thought it was a bird. But then I thought that a bird wouldn't be flying this low--down with the cars. So I looked to see if it was a piece of paper/trash swirling around the cars. I looked over to my passenger side. At that very moment it was level with me. I looked at it in amazement. It was a white dove! After I had looked at it for a second, it flew back up in the sky and above the traffic of cars.

Throughout the Bible, a dove was a sign (God told Noah to send out a dove from the Ark to know when it was safe to exit the Ark/After Jesus was baptized, the Holy Spirit came down in the form of a dove.)

To me this was an extraordinary morning. I don't recall ever seeing a dove before today (except for in pictures and videos). And the fact that it was safely flying among the cars and waited to go back up until I saw it is pretty exciting!