Behold, He is doing a new thing!

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. –God (Isaiah 43:19)

Rewind to October of last year. I had signed up to participate in the MS 5k—as a walker. I remember seeing others running, and feeling inadequate/insecure (I’m not really sure what word I’m looking for; I just know that I felt like the runners were better than me and were doing something I’d never be able to do. I’d always be the walker watching the runner wishing I could be like them.) Add to that, I was in a dead-end relationship hoping with all my strength that if I worked hard enough and prayed long enough, it could be saved. So there I am in the heart of Houston with my long-term boyfriend and my new dog at an exciting event to raise money for MS research. It should have been a joyful day. But if I were to show you the pictures from that day, you wouldn’t pick up on feelings of love and joy. You would see smiles and eyes that were trying and tired of trying--especially if you saw the pictures of my ex.

MS Walk 2010

Now fast-forward to this October. I ran my first 5k on Saturday morning. What a difference a year makes. Instead of walking this 5k, I RAN it! It was full of hope and prayers for those dealing with breast cancer and it was run with a new friend that God strategically put into my life. Where last year’s 5k was walked with a burdensome hope for myself, this year’s was ran with a joyful hope for others.

After running my first 5k in Oct 2011 (it was a little windy!)

At the beginning of 2011, God told me to move to Houston. I was feeling the lead, but kept putting it off.  (I was scared.) Then the pastor of my old church preached on going when God tells you to go. He shared how in Joshua 1, God told Joshua to pick up where Moses left off, and to GO lead the people across the Jordan River into the promised land. In the first chapter of Joshua, God told Joshua THREE times to be strong and courageous—and go! This sermon solidified what God had been telling me.

So here I am in the city that God called me to. There’s been pain—deep pain. But God is revealing himself and his word to me more and more. He has changed my hopes. But mostly he is making it all easier. Work still requires more energy than I sometimes think I have. People still test my nerves and break my heart. Dust still falls on the dresser that I dusted a few days ago. But somehow, it’s easier. 

This past week I started reading my new pastor’s book “Finding God’s Will.” In chapter 2, he gives the illustration of a 6 mile Fun Run in which the pace car made a wrong turn, resulting in a 9 mile run for about 300 hundred runners. He says, “We can do the same thing following our own plan and running in our own strength. Trust me. You don’t want the responsibility of keeping life ignited by your own efforts. You will waste your strength running the wrong course. A listening ear beats swift feet every time.” The point of the chapter is that “God’s power always accompanies God’s will.” So when I say it’s easier, what I’m referring to is God’s power that is accompanying his will in my life.

Jesus said for all of us who are weary and burdened to come to Him, and He would give us rest. In the same passage (Matthew 11), He said, “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” This has been highlighted in my Bible for years, but it wasn’t until the other day that I realized what Jesus was talking about when he said yoke. Ever heard of a yoke of oxen? A yoke of oxen is two ox that have been yoked together—or connected by a piece of wood that fits over their necks. I’m not a farmer, but I imagine that the yoke keeps the oxen going in the same direction while plowing. So I think what Jesus was saying is that being attached to him and going His direction is easy. [In saying this I worry that you may think that there are no difficulties or trials for Christians. That is not the case—actually the Bible tells us that we’ll have trials in this world and that the world will hate us! I feel like I've had more trials than most non-Christians. Believe me, I've cried lots of tears and felt tremendous heartache. But somehow, it’s all easier! I don’t know how to explain it. And you won’t understand unless you’ve experienced it. But for those who have experienced God’s strength and help, you’re likely nodding your head as you read this.]

All of that to say, praise God for bringing me through these trials. For in them, He is reminding me that He loves me more than I love myself, and that He is good. He is my Counselor, Shield, Protector, and Father. My prayer these days is, “Lord, I’m where you told me to go. Now what do you want me to do? Who do you want me to serve? Whom do you want me to help and love?”  Like Moses when he saw the burning bush (a sign from God), and like Ruth when she met Boaz (her future husband), I’m going to go about the work and things that God has already told me to do, and trust that he’ll show me my next steps.