To be who I am looking for
I started this post a couple of weeks ago and never finished. Here's the first part:
Work has been like a great wave--heavy, strong, crushing, and sudden.
As an accountant I know that close (aka, the first couple work days of a month) will always be busy. However, there is a difference between impossibly overwhelming and busy.
Today when I was pulling out of the parking garage I thought, even if I were married, I bet my husband wouldn't look forward to me coming home after work. My entire body is tense and sore and all of my thoughts are anxious.
I'm sure I once read somewhere, that while we are waiting for our ideal spouse, we should work on becoming the person they would want to be with. Which is another way of putting "become the person you want to be" since we attract who we are, and therefore want to attract who we want to be. Follow?
And this is the part I continued tonight...
This was an ah-ha moment for me. This means change is necessary. In five years, I won't magically be the person I want to be if I don't make calculated steps to becoming that person.
A sermon I heard this weekend mentioned Romans 12:2, which says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."
We can know what God's will is! And it is GOOD and PLEASING and PERFECT. I need to constantly remind myself of this truth.
When J and I finally ended our looooong term relationship, I kept telling myself, "Trust and obey, for there is no other way." I knew it was in God's will for us to end the relationship. And I had to obey. I had put off obeying for about a year, and believe some sad things came from it. Right now I don't like us being apart and feel tempted to pray for God to change J's heart. But instead, I have to remind myself to pray for God's will to be shown to us.
I shared all of this to say, my first change is going to be the way I seek God. I have to SEEK him. The verse I quoted said that to be able to test and approve God's will, we have to renew our minds. We renew our minds by reading the Bible--the very words of God.
My next change is to support my first change. I must get involved at church, preferably in the singles group. This has me considering moving closer to the city so I can go to a singles group that has singles my age, instead of 39 year olds.
With these changes, I also plan on learning to play the guitar, going to Hawaii with my sister (and hopefully my friend Abbi), going on a mission trip, taking some time to serve people in Houston, and beginning the teacher certification program. 2011 is going to be busy and exciting!
If you've taken the time to read this far. Thanks. xoxo
Work has been like a great wave--heavy, strong, crushing, and sudden.
As an accountant I know that close (aka, the first couple work days of a month) will always be busy. However, there is a difference between impossibly overwhelming and busy.
Today when I was pulling out of the parking garage I thought, even if I were married, I bet my husband wouldn't look forward to me coming home after work. My entire body is tense and sore and all of my thoughts are anxious.
I'm sure I once read somewhere, that while we are waiting for our ideal spouse, we should work on becoming the person they would want to be with. Which is another way of putting "become the person you want to be" since we attract who we are, and therefore want to attract who we want to be. Follow?
And this is the part I continued tonight...
This was an ah-ha moment for me. This means change is necessary. In five years, I won't magically be the person I want to be if I don't make calculated steps to becoming that person.
A sermon I heard this weekend mentioned Romans 12:2, which says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."
We can know what God's will is! And it is GOOD and PLEASING and PERFECT. I need to constantly remind myself of this truth.
When J and I finally ended our looooong term relationship, I kept telling myself, "Trust and obey, for there is no other way." I knew it was in God's will for us to end the relationship. And I had to obey. I had put off obeying for about a year, and believe some sad things came from it. Right now I don't like us being apart and feel tempted to pray for God to change J's heart. But instead, I have to remind myself to pray for God's will to be shown to us.
I shared all of this to say, my first change is going to be the way I seek God. I have to SEEK him. The verse I quoted said that to be able to test and approve God's will, we have to renew our minds. We renew our minds by reading the Bible--the very words of God.
My next change is to support my first change. I must get involved at church, preferably in the singles group. This has me considering moving closer to the city so I can go to a singles group that has singles my age, instead of 39 year olds.
With these changes, I also plan on learning to play the guitar, going to Hawaii with my sister (and hopefully my friend Abbi), going on a mission trip, taking some time to serve people in Houston, and beginning the teacher certification program. 2011 is going to be busy and exciting!
If you've taken the time to read this far. Thanks. xoxo
Comments
I have to continually tell myself that God has the perfect guy for me...maybe THAT guy is just not ready for me yet. Because I'm ready. At least, I think I'm ready, but really, maybe my future husband is just not ready for me yet.
So, I totally understand and I will pray for you. And, please, when it's warmer, let's go kayaking! :)