Empathy
Growing up I was extremely empathetic. Other peoples' stories moved me. They caused me to take on burdens and want to do something to help. Since other's burdens became my own, I prayed earnestly. I even remember feeling empathy for my mom on many occasions (all before I ever turned 11). Of course at that time, I didn't know the name for the emotion.
At some point toward the end of high school and the beginning of college, I started realizing that if I didn't let other people's problems become real to me, I wouldn't have to be so consumed with the problems myself. I stopped wanting to hear about the abused, lonely, sick, worried, abandoned, or hungry people. I begin to hear the words, but block them out of my heart.
All of these thoughts hit me tonight as I sat with my aunt discussing her recent diagnosis of early diabetes. If I were to be honest, this really worries me and makes me want to make sure she creates a strict diet for herself. I want to be there at all times to say, "No, you can't have that." But then that is too heavy of a stressor, so as we talked, I changed the subject to a meaningless check up appointment that I scheduled for myself. As I did it (moved the focus from something important about her, to something unimportant about myself), I knew that I didn't really want to change the subject, but I also didn't want to deal with the weight of worrying.
I don't know what all of these means, other than, I need to take the focus off of myself. I know that the people are in great need, and I can help. I can love. I can listen. I can be selfless with my time. But I must forget myself. There is a reason God gave me a soft heart for others--homeless people (I know there is a fine line between where I am and where they are), orphans (it's easy to empathize there...I can't wait to give a kid the mom they almost didn't have), the lonesome, the worried...
But as I type this, I'm realizing those people are within my own family. They need miracles, jobs, companionship, love, nurturing, a listening ear, someone to share the burden with, someone who will pass that burden on to God (for he cares for us.) I must go love my family.
For those of you who know me, and know that I do this, stop me next time.
Lord, help me to lay down my life and focus on loving others. -Heather
At some point toward the end of high school and the beginning of college, I started realizing that if I didn't let other people's problems become real to me, I wouldn't have to be so consumed with the problems myself. I stopped wanting to hear about the abused, lonely, sick, worried, abandoned, or hungry people. I begin to hear the words, but block them out of my heart.
All of these thoughts hit me tonight as I sat with my aunt discussing her recent diagnosis of early diabetes. If I were to be honest, this really worries me and makes me want to make sure she creates a strict diet for herself. I want to be there at all times to say, "No, you can't have that." But then that is too heavy of a stressor, so as we talked, I changed the subject to a meaningless check up appointment that I scheduled for myself. As I did it (moved the focus from something important about her, to something unimportant about myself), I knew that I didn't really want to change the subject, but I also didn't want to deal with the weight of worrying.
I don't know what all of these means, other than, I need to take the focus off of myself. I know that the people are in great need, and I can help. I can love. I can listen. I can be selfless with my time. But I must forget myself. There is a reason God gave me a soft heart for others--homeless people (I know there is a fine line between where I am and where they are), orphans (it's easy to empathize there...I can't wait to give a kid the mom they almost didn't have), the lonesome, the worried...
But as I type this, I'm realizing those people are within my own family. They need miracles, jobs, companionship, love, nurturing, a listening ear, someone to share the burden with, someone who will pass that burden on to God (for he cares for us.) I must go love my family.
For those of you who know me, and know that I do this, stop me next time.
Lord, help me to lay down my life and focus on loving others. -Heather
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