I've felt it...but don't remember why

Have you ever been so engrossed in something that you lost track of time and reality? I'm not talking about the painful type of task that creates a black hole for your time and life, but the good kind. The kind where you can't make your next move fast enough?

I just finished The Opposite of Love--Julie Buxbaum's first novel. In the back of the book there is an interview with Julie where she describes her "process" for writing. She says this,

A lot of time, maybe even most of the time, the writing part is torturous. But every once in a while, I'll nail a sentence, or a paragraph, or figure out a plot point that hasn't been working for me, and those moments bring such a rush that I forget about everthing else. And that's when I know I'm doing my job--when I so lose myself that I don't notice time slipping by in the real world, and forget all the silly details that normally rule my brain. (Did I pay my credit card bill? Is there milk in the fridge? When was the last time I shaved my legs?) It's a strange and wonderful feeling--like almost forgetting to exist for a little while.

I know I've had this feeling. I've felt the rush. But I can't remember what I was doing when I felt it. For some reason the image of me sitting at my dorm desk during my freshmen year comes to mind. I assume I was conquering something. Maybe algebra? Whatever it was, I was overcoming it. Taking over. I need to remember what it was that triggered that feeling. And then I want to make a career out of it. Seriously.

I don't know why I keep settling for things I don't like. I had a passion for interior design. I EVEN had a passion for residence life (just ask my past CAs, they thought I was too tough.) I need to find my thing and do it.

Step one: believe that I can do whatever I want.

Step two: figure out what I want to do. (I'm sure I know. But since I haven't overcome step one yet, I'm a too crippled to start step two.)

Wedding planning? It was in my five year letter that I wrote 4 1/2 years ago...