A Dinner in Memory of My Mom

I remember two meals that my mom made me over and over. She had several creative recipes that other family members still mention, but it is not those that I remember. My mind only held on to the plain and simple ones.

1) Oatmeal with butter and sugar with toast. To this day I think the only way to eat oatmeal is on top of a triangled piece of toast. I would eat this on cold mornings through sleepy eyes as I watched Sesame Street.

2) Chicken Ramen Noodle soup and grilled cheese. My mom made this for me when I was sick--with Sprite. I also ate it on nights that I was tired--which probably meant my mom was even more tired, and thus needed something quick and easy to feed me.

Indeed, thinking of these meals, reminds me of the noble woman described in Proverbs 31.

This was my mom: "She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family."

So tonight, a week away from the 14th anniversary of my mom's death, I had Ramen and a grilled cheese. I hadn't 'counted' the years since my mom's death in a while. I was almost shocked when the number 14 hit me. 14 years. I remember it being sad 3 years ago when I realized I had lived more of my life without a mom than I had with her. But now, it just seems wrong. It is like the more time that goes by, the more a mom, my mom, is just a distant memory. It is as if the life I had with my mom is someone else's memory.

And so tonight, I will add to my to-do list to get pictures of my mom. To acknowledge that she was my mom. To remember. To someday mimic the way she took care of me...and try to remember what moms do.

Mom, Carolyn. You were good to me. I thank you. I am sorry. I love and miss you. I do.

If your mom is around. Go hug her. Tell her thank you for feeding you, for teaching you to read, for spending money on junk that you wanted from the toy aisle, for staying up with you when you cried as a baby, for changing your diapers, for encouraging you, taking up for you (my mother was GREAT at this), punishing you when you deserved it, and for playing with you.